Thursday, March 17, 2011

wash my hands, seal my fate

(One last valentine for the Avs from Chris Collision.)

As noted yesterday, the Canucks hosted the pathetic Avs last night. Pierre Idiot Trudeau & I had a date to watch the game which I, brilliantly, scheduled for a non-sports-bar that doesn't have the NHL package. So he watched the game, and I creeped out my girlfriend by grimly staring at my phone all night.

Anyways, the Avs got stomped. Instead of the recounting of badinage (Trudeau can do that, if he wants to) let's revisit my predictions.

so prospects are what we call dim for getting out of British Columbia's only loveliest city with even one point, let alone two.

Yeah, nailed that. Zero points.

The Canucks haven't faced Avs non-savior Brian Elliott much—3 games total (Elliott's gone 1-2, 2.70, .902 against them)—so they'll probably just go simple against him and, you know, shoot the puck. Which, given his .875 Sv% in an Avalanche uniform, will probably work just fucking fine.

Well, he improved his save percentage by stopping 36 of 39, for a high-end average of .923. So he had that going for him. Of course, he gave up 3, so his GAA's a-goin' up up up up up.

Elliott gets pulled; Budaj gets pulled; Elliott gives up 2 goals after being reinserted after being pulled and if you think I'm trying to suggest that Coach Joe Sacco isn't exactly the world's greatest handler of goalies, YOU'RE FUCKING RIGHT

Didn't get this one. Sacco's off the hook for the goalies and Elliott, like he did against the Sharks, looked like a competent NHL-level goaltender.

The Avs score 2 goals and sustain one (more) injury

Booom. 2 goals, lost Foote to injury.

Jonas Holos will continue to indicate that "Jonas Holos" is a Dutch phrase meaning "forgettable second-pairing defenseman"

Team-worst -3 for the game, no shots on goal.

After the game, I went a little nuts on twitter, venting my spleen on a team I characterized as passionless pussies, calling out an organEYEzation that seems not to give a flying fuck, from the cheapskate owner to the inept-at-negotiating front office to the overmatched coach to the listless and not particularly talented players.

And that's where I'm at with this squad. I have a strong sense that I care more than they do in this lost season, and I'm struggling to come up with a reason to invest my time, money and interest in following a team that visibly doesn't care whether or not I do.

--Collision, spurned

(Author shown tired of watching, thinking about, and writing about this shitty team, because doing these things is a waste of fucking time.)

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