Friday, March 11, 2011

an audition for ESPN

One of these things is not like the other.

So, ESPN? You have clearly mastered the cut and paste process. However, it seems as though you have not yet figured out how to find and replace. As a man who can hit CTRL-F without even looking at his hands, I would like to offer my services to you.

I will work for $100,000 a year and two DVD copies of each of the Avs' cup run highlights. Also: I will be working from home and you have to hook me up with cable. And not basic cable, either: I want the big-boy package* and high-speed internet and I will not wear pants.


--Collision, angling for a job where all he does is insult his betters

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