Tuesday, March 8, 2011

LINE BRAWL: how to trade for Eric Brewer if you are a balloon with internal structure

Collision
Boston: Tampa Bay sees you one Tomas Kaberle and raises you one Eric Brewer. Advantage: Tampa Bay.

Pierre Idiot Trudeau
If the Kaberle deal is any indication, I'm pretty sure the deal is for Stamkos, 5 first round draft picks, a chest full of gems and a dirigible.

Collision
You're forgetting the Yzerman factor. The deal will be for a 2nd-rounder in 2087 and Marvin St. Louis.
The Blues are gonna be fucking bummed.

Pierre Idiot Trudeau
WE GOT HOSSA! Yeah THE Mario Hossa!

Collision
"Hey, guys, we just traded for Roy comma Patrick!!"
Seconds pass.
"Fuck. We actually just traded for a guy named Roy Patrick. Who, I am being informed, was a flipper baby. And who reads at a third-grade level. He may be the last of the Plantagenet dynasty."

Jew Grimson
I'd take Raul Bonham, Joe Paul Jones, Boris Paige and Morris Plant (pretty sure that's the "dirigible" Idiot Trudeau was talking about, right?) over what the Blackhawks got for the ironically named Skill(e). Look 'em up fuckers, they're real.

Collision
Unfortunately, you ended up with Kingdom Come. :(

Jew Grimson
[/surrenders, bested]

Collision
Surrendering? What are you, the Avs GM?
I wrote this, through my rage-filled tears. http://clearthecrease.blogspot.com/2011/02/hoof-arted.html
My tears taste like bourbon.

Jew Grimson
For the record, my interest in Goalie Guild was strictly from what I read on twitter (back when I still paid attention to that thing), which was blissfully free of the armchair-Freud-meets-bad-1950's-serial internal monologue/quasi-stormfront sounding Norse Reichspeak. Wow is that guy scary.

Editor's note: Amen, brother.

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