LINE BRAWL: lap tapping edition

Pierre Idiot Trudeau

http://espn.go.com/nhl/trophytracker

Umm. Where the fuck is Tim Thomas? Pekka Rinne is on there, Carey Price is on there....

Not terrifying at all.

Collision

The key take-home from this is that we now know Idiot Trudeau's internet nom du comment:

So you took the top goalie in the league off the list in Thomas and put one on the list that's not having nearly as good of a year..
-- CubaGoodingSr

Pierre Idiot Trudeau

And Jew Grimson's

If you can mention all three Canucks as Hart candidates, then none of them are actually candidates.
-- stinkins1979

Jew Grimson

You all know what's coming so I'll try to make it as painless as possible. Blah blah blah Toews blah blah greatest of all time blah blah Gretzky has a statue of HIM blah blah should be all time president of the universe.

Not a fan of goalies for the Hart, unless you're getting 75+ games in net.

Collision

Yeah, the Hart is a lesser award anyway.

Jew Grimson

Also, surprised that Idiot Trudeau is not up in arms about them inverting the photos with the Sedins. Get it right you small minded cretins at Disney! Corey Perry rapes farm animals.

Collision

According to a bunch of people who noticed he scored back-to-back OT winners last weekend, if Corey Perry played in the East, his line would be justly famed as the game's best, and he would be feted as the best forward not named Gretzky Crosby.

And by "people...weekend" I mean "morons".

Pierre Idiot Trudeau

Thing about Toews is, he would win the MVP for his two way skills. As it is, he's third at best for the Selke...

Collision

More to the point (of these email threads), I was COMPLETELY RIGHT and Pierre Idiot Trudeau was COMPLETELY WRONG according to this unarguable font of musical expertise.

Bogdan von Pylon

Gospel truth. All that other shit just sounds like cats fucking. Degenerates.

Pierre Idiot Trudeau

I wouldn't trust Pandora to not describe the Cure as a metal band.

Collision

Well, on one hand, until recently, the word "pretension" was still in the first sentence of the Tool bio, so they had that going for them.

On the other hand, close inspection of that image will reveal that "stoner and doom metal" now includes Bon Scott era AC/DC and Zep. After which was played some Hendrix, and now a Canadian guitarist who lays his guitar on his lap to play AND WHO ISN'T JEFF HEALEY! (He calls his style--and I am not making this up--"lap tapping".)

In fact, he's listed as "new age", which apparently you now hear on stoner/doom metal stations.

Look, nobody said Pandora was competent perfect, just that they agreed with me on a long-standing issue of disagreement. Also this new age guit-slinger sounds almost exactly like an acoustic version of Planet Caravan, so it sounds pretty okay on a metal station, regardless of how it's classified.

Bogdan von Pylon

Pandorentropy is real. All roads lead to the Dave Matthews Band.

Collision

Aaaand yet again, Bogdan von Pylon surges up from silence to Win the Thread. Nice job, von Pylon.

Jew Grimson

I'll give Pylon the second one, but speak for your damn self on the first one. When the god-king Toews comes down from the mountain to restore justice to the world, the nay-sayers who decried his greatness will be cast into the pool of eternal slavery! Datsuyk will be revealed to finger-fuck toddlers & that Canucklehead center will photobomb Libya, or something that sounds like that.

In summation: Silke: Towes. Hart: Toews. Conn Smythe: Toews. They're even gonna give the fucking Vezina trophy that Collision was obliquely referring to Toews. The Calder? To you fuckin' rookies for not recognizing the greatest of all time even when he stands in your midst.

Ok, back to reality: totes looking forward to my team's first round loss in 6 games to the Cuntocracies of either Detroit or San Jose. Fuck 2k11 in the goat ass.

Collision

I was talking about the Jennings, you ignorant fuck.