The magnificent Tomas Rios read last week's Captains-in-Summer insanity and looked into his heart, and found a quivering bird there, and he did stroke the bird, and did fead it milk and sugar and drops of Buffalo Trace bourbon, and when the bird began to hop, he encouraged it, and, in due time, that bird breathed deep of the ether, and spread its wings, and took to the skies. Free. Cawing. Shitting on all that lay beneath it, its eyes sensitive only to weakness.
That bird's name is SHADE AVERY, and its nature is that of a television show built of Sean Avery criticizing people's fashion choices. Because he is a gentleman, Rios allowed me to help him nurse this shining, soaring bird to health, after which time David Roth came in editorially and taught the bird how to do amazing tricks, and made Tomas & YT both look a hell of a lot better. Then we bro'd down on the Internet for a while and now you can watch the bird soar at your leisure.
By way of a value-add to justify this post, I will note only that I wrote the following, and I have no idea what it means.
The bird...has a Clear View.