Okay, I tried. I spent a couple hours doing final research and finding a narrative hook I kind of liked for my final final post-mortem on the Avs 2010-2011, but I can't do it.
I'm tired of this fucking team.
I'm tired of their complete lack of accountability. I'm tired of hearing them barf forth claims that "they tried hard" in loss after loss after loss in which they never led. I'm tired of people claiming that Duchene is progressing instead of coasting.
I'm tired of those ugly fucking blueberry jerseys. I'm tired of the franchise giving up with games to play and sitting out every half-passable professional-level player and trotting out yet still another set of inadequate minor leaguers to play against teams attempting to win games and make the playoffs. I'm tired of the commentary around this team, where before guys get traded they're invisible or interchangeable and after they get traded they're studs with exceptional leadership qualities.
I'm tired of players openly rooting for their numbers in the last days of a season marked by five fewer wins than even I, who called this entire goddamned season, predicted. I'm tired of a smallish team that doesn't seem very fast anymore, I'm tired of players losing fights, I'm tired of a coach who has no idea how to get a team to play in the first period or what in the hell he's supposed to do when he doesn't have a goalie playing out of his mind. I'm tired of slumps. I'm tired of paying Paul Stastny unfathomable quantities of money to put up checking-line performances without doing any checking. I'm tired of pretending bad players are good.
I'm real tired of rooting for a team that's too tight-fisted and stubborn to retain a goalie coach who helped two goalies to career years. Most of all I'm tired of wasting my time thinking about these fucking losers who don't care that they are. They say you learn things in times of adversity. Here's what I've learned about the Colorado Avalanche: fuck you pussies. I quit.