Presumably, someone owns the Columbus Blue Jackets. It seems almost certain, in fact. We do, after all, live in a world with walls, and on those walls stand men with guns, and the job of those men is, of course, to keep other—lesser—men, with fewer things, away from the things of greater men, with more—and better—things.
Not that the Blue Jackets are necessarily such a great thing. On the black side of the ledger, they:
- Are a team with some indisputable charm
- Have some quite good players, including the reigning Vezina winner for league's best goaltender, former 40-goal man Marian Gaborik, and solid pros like former Portland Winterhawk (and awful dresser) Brandon Dubinsky
- Boast a shockingly well-regarded beat writer
- Sport perhaps my favorite jerseys in the game
In honor of hope, and perseverance, and work, Clear the Crease hereby dedicates the following HEAVY TUNE to the owner of the Blue Jackets...whoever that is. The song is a slice of High Energy music from my all-time hero, Mike Watt, a man who has long since earned a MacArthur genius grant, tho' he has yet to receive it. Alas.
And, less kindly, a classic slice of horrifying noise, in honor of the 323 dead people associated with the building where the Blue Jackets ply their trade.
—Collision, who got badly fucked over by Evernote several different times while writing this on a plane to Columbus