Monday, September 24, 2012

Collision at The Classical

So you may have heard this, but the NHL owners have actually locked out the players, and nothing much seems to be happening negotiating-wise. Not all that much is happening on the ice either, the Joe-Thornton-to-Rick-Nash first-period-hat-trick last week in Davos, Switzerland, notwithstanding.

However, real leaders never quit grinding, and each NHL captain is demonstrably using this time to his advantage. In the spirit of 22 Short Films About Springfield, I give you 30 short stories about NHL captains during the lockout:

Chicago Blackhawks: Jonathan Toews
Horrible nightly dreams of legs lost to trains, cold steel rails throbbing as huge locomotives thunder away, blood pooling on ties and spikes.
He's not doing okay.

Fire up the Screaming Blue Messiahs, for a little slice of life background HEAVY TUNE action, and hit the link.

As a value-added for this here post, here is a joke that got cut, about the ever-jokesome Florida Panthers franchise:
It is funny that the Panthers fired their mascot three whole days into the lockout in a cost-cutting maneuver unrivalled since contractors lowballed the deck-chair supplier for the Titanic.

As a note for y'all, there may not be any jokes in it as funny as the one below.

--Collision, capturing the spirit of the thing

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