Collision at the Classical Part Dos

Part Two of Captains in Summer is up over at The Classical: check it out for all your N-through-W team captains needs! To pimp it, I shall provide you the greatest blurb I expect I'll ever receive, from eternal class act editor, rad dude, and infinitely kick-ass writer David Roth:

Pt. 1 of @cfcollision's lockout-speculation on NHL captains was great. Pt. 2 has more cheese-with-hair-in-it/vampires: theclassical.org/articles/the-c…

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) September 25, 2012

Fire up your HEAVY TUNES of choice, and hit the link below!

Dion Phaneuf--Just got home and grimly, silently ate from a variety of cheap cheeses before discovering a disturbingly pale hair in one wedge. He's still standing in his dark kitchen, the heat-softening dairy lump in his hand, his mammoth-club of a jaw working, working.

In my head, this two-parter was a thirty-parter, a slideshow with each captain lavishly illustrated by CtC's own Bogdan von Pylon, the world's Sorry Your Heinous, or the Classical's incredible and essential Samarov or Eli Neugeboren. In my head, I can also dunk a basketball.

Here is a HEAVY TUNE for you to listen to while you read.

--Collision, who got more in store

Collision at The Classical

So you may have heard this, but the NHL owners have actually locked out the players, and nothing much seems to be happening negotiating-wise. Not all that much is happening on the ice either, the Joe-Thornton-to-Rick-Nash first-period-hat-trick last week in Davos, Switzerland, notwithstanding.

However, real leaders never quit grinding, and each NHL captain is demonstrably using this time to his advantage. In the spirit of 22 Short Films About Springfield, I give you 30 short stories about NHL captains during the lockout:

Chicago Blackhawks: Jonathan Toews
Horrible nightly dreams of legs lost to trains, cold steel rails throbbing as huge locomotives thunder away, blood pooling on ties and spikes.
He's not doing okay.

Fire up the Screaming Blue Messiahs, for a little slice of life background HEAVY TUNE action, and hit the link.

As a value-added for this here post, here is a joke that got cut, about the ever-jokesome Florida Panthers franchise:
It is funny that the Panthers fired their mascot three whole days into the lockout in a cost-cutting maneuver unrivalled since contractors lowballed the deck-chair supplier for the Titanic.

As a note for y'all, there may not be any jokes in it as funny as the one below.

Pretty sure Goodell thinks the bio of Patton he keeps by his bed but hasn't read tells him ending the ref lockout is unacceptable surrender.

— nayr (@nayrgeno) September 24, 2012

--Collision, capturing the spirit of the thing