Thursday, June 28, 2012

an oral argument

Here at CtC, we go hard any--and every--time sports and politics intersect. I mostly don't pay too much attention to UFC/MMA anymore, b/c time is finite and I have been taught by my betters that life is short (and should be painful as well). So I owe it to the indispensible Tomas Rios that I became aware of the latest collision of athletic endeavor, the distribution of power across a population, and the exercise of raw, naked force.

It had not occurred to me that the Supreme Court might try to force me to perform fellatio on them. It had honestly never occurred to me that that might happen. Never crossed my mind. At no point did the potential of non-consensual oral-genital contact with any member of the Supreme Court of the United States enter my consciousness. (Well, I admit I'd entertained the possibility that Clarence Thomas might make some off-color suggestions involving mouths and his penis.) It is all to the good, then, that Josh Thompson has alerted me to the shocking and unpleasant likelihood that six elderly men may at any time show up and shove me roughly to my knees so they can attempt to jam their penises into my jaws.

Alertness, vigilance, preparation: thanks to not-at-all insane Josh Thompson and his helpful guidance, these shall be my watchwords and praxis. Alito? Thomas? Roberts? Kennedy? Scalia? Breyer? My lips are sealed.

--Collision, who has the right not to suck dick

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