Monday, March 25, 2013

Semin Back as 'Canes Get Cocky

We've had a lot of fun with Semin around here, to the point where some have even complained about seeing so much Semin in the 'Crease, but the Internet exploded today with the news that the Carolina Hurricanes have decided they need Alexander Semin in their jersey for five more seasons. While his production has been spotty for the past few campaigns, he's really come on for the 'Canes this time around, and his fast hands really fill a hole for a team that often struggles to punch it in.

Some observers may choke on his cost, but right now it certainly appears as though Carolina wants to put Semin on their ice for another five seasons. For now, we can all quit worrying about where Semin will end up. At least until next year's trade deadline, when, surely, scoring wingers will be a sizzling-hot commodity and Semin will be on everybody's lips once again.

To commemorate this new consummated deal, please enjoy the sloppy, slapped-together Photoshop that our own Bogdan von Pylon expelled before a quick cigarette and a nap.

—Collision, hoping von Pylon will call, later

Okay, okay. It isn't all dick jokes and making fun of Ryan Lambert's inability to figure out what he's trying to say around here. Other notable moments from the CtC Thread du Jour include finding our next book club book:

And, spurred on by the Onion, I prepared a list of the five awesomest things ever said on the clock.

# 5: Reported by Pierre Idiot Trudeau, eavesflirting at the Red & Black some years ago:

"Hey, why didn't Tracy put away this delivery?"
"Because she sucks?"

This Onion article is # 4.

# 3 is some dude I knew who once asked his boss

"how big a diagram do I have to draw you, using how many colors of crayon, to explain that what you're asking for can not be done?"

# 2 is of course Bogdan von Pylon:

"this is important, so I'm going to use profanity. Please don't take it personally".

#1: Noodles reply-alling an entire work list—every on-site employee got this—with

"I'm sorry, but this 'no-vacation, everybody-needs-to-pull-together-and-work-harder' stuff is ridiculous, when you fired a third of us—our friends and co-workers—last week. Now you have too much work to honor time off requests? You not being able to manage the workflow is not a reason we need to work harder."

Smash the state, fuck your boss, all power to the people and ban the fucking bomb.

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