Hebrews 13:8: Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. This recap block brought to you by eternal return and the crushing inevitability of failure.
Game 52 @ Edmonton Oilers 2-3
WILL THIS TEAM EVER WIN ANOTHER GAME IN WESTERN CANADA? NOTHING THEY DO THERE DOES ANYTHING BUT GIVE THE FUCKING HOST WAYS TO FIND WINS...WANT TO LOOK LIKE JACQUES FUCKING PLANTE? BE DEVAN DUBNYK AGAINST THE AVS
Game 53 vs. Minnesota Mild 0-1
I HATE THIS TEAM, I HATE THAT THEY'RE 10-1-2 IN COLORADO, I HATE THE GUTLESS WAY THEY PAY, I HATE THEIR WORST-IN-THE-INDUSTRY JERSEYS, I HATE ESSENTIALLY EVERYTHING EXCEPT CHUCK 'THE INVISIBLE MAN''S NAKED LOATHING FOR HIS PAST EMPLOYER--AND I CERTAINLY HATE THE WAY THE AVS (COMPLETELY FAIL TO SHOW UP TO) PLAY AGAINST THIS TEAM
Game 54 vs. Vancouver Canucks 2-3 (SO)
OH WHAT A SHOCK, THE CANUCKS SOMEHOW BEAT THE AVS, EVEN IF THEY HAD TO GET 44 SAVES OUT OF LUONGO + A RARE SHOOTOUT LOSS FROM THE AVS TO DO IT
LORD I HATE THE WAY EVERYBODY IN THE NORTHWEST DOMINATES THE AVS THE LAST FEW SEASONS, EVERY OTHER NIGHT IT'S OIL/FLAME/MILD/NUCKS KICKING THE AVS IN THE TEETH
Game 55 vs. Chicago Blackhawks 5-2
TIGHT AND SLOPPY UNTIL EARLY IN THE THIRD--DON'T KNOW WHY*, BUT THE 'HAWKS REALLY BRING OUT THE BEST IN THE AVS, AND THE GAMES ARE ALWAYS SPEED-DEMON SHOWPIECES
NICE TO SEE DAVID 'NICKNAME' JONES PLAYING WELL, EVEN IF EVERYBODY SAYS HE'S ON HIS WAY OUT FOR LITTLE OR NO RETURN...
*I DO KNOW WHY: THE 'HAWKS AREN'T QUITE AS FAST AS THE AVS, THEY SUCK AT PLAYING DEFENSE, AND DON'T HAVE GOOD ENOUGH GOALTENDING TO GET AWAY WITH HANGING THEIR GOALIE OUT TO DRY ALL THE TIME
Game 56 vs. Carolina Hurricanes 4-3 (OT)
MAN, THIS WAS 64+ MINUTES OF BRUUUUUUTALFEAR & TREMBLING--SRSLY, 40+ SHEEP-DIPPIN' SHOTS TO THE CAROLINA HURRICANES?
AT HOME?
BUT WHEN YOU GET THE FINEST CLUTCH PLAY OF THE SEASON TO END THE GAME--O'REILLY STEALING THE PUCK, RAMBLING IN, BEATING CAM WARD WITH 1.2 SECONDS LEFT--YOU QUIT YOUR BITCHING AND JUST GO WITH THE FLOW
Game 57 Lesbian @ St. Louis Blues 2-3 (OT)
TYPICAL EXCUSES...TIRED TEAM...BACK-TO-BACK NIGHTS...TRAVEL...SALVAGED A POINT...BLUES TOUGH AT HOME...BLAH BLAH BLAH--VARLAMOV PLAYED A DECENT GAME, THOUGH, AND SEEMS TO BE GETTING BACK ON TRACK, AND ERIK JOHNSON PLAYED A NICE GAME, AND BY NICE I MEAN NOT NICE AT ALL
Game 58 @ Vancouver Canucks 1-3
THE WORDS "GROIN INJURY FOR GIGUERE" DO NOT DO TO DWELL UPON
AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THIS GAME WAS IN ANY WAY NOTABLE OR SURPRISING
Game 58 @ Edmonton Oilers 3-1
RARE FOR A NOT-NEARLY-THAT-CLOSE SCORE TO GO THE WAY OF THE AVS.
TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT I CLUMB FULL ON THE ERIK JOHNSON BANDWAGON; NO MERCH W/ HIS NAME ON, THO', IS AVAILABLE
EARLY IN THE NIGHT I NOTED THAT DEVAN DUBYNK AGAINST THE AVS PLAYS LIKE DOMINIC HASEK--BUT, THEN, HASEK PLAYED ON A LOT OF SHITTY TEAMS...
OIL GOONED IT UP SLEW-FOOT STYLE AND RUN THE GOALIE STYLE...AND JOHN 3:16 SAYS WE JUST KICKED YOUR ASS
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