Sorry, everybody. The CtC Punk Songs for Every Owner project marches on, but the work that the Phoenix Coyotes entry requires to do the topic justice is incredible. It's really the whole story of capitalism's uneasy alliance with governmental bureaucracy, plus the post-national aspects of sports fandom we discussed the other week, plus the weird disconnect certain capitalist enterprises impose between the quality of their ostensible purposes (making phones, or whatever) and their actual purposes (making profits).
So there's a lot going on, and it's actually, factually, requiring substantial research, and careful thought, and in lieu of those things, Clear the Crease would like to present this weird CtC Punk Song for Every Owner Special (very non-punk) Remix! Listen close and thrill to the incredibly weirdly appropriate first verse of this mediocre song that occasionally gets stuck in my head!!
That first verse, for the schoolmen and brutal pedants:
don't like the look of this town
what goes up, must come down
character is lost and found
on an unfamiliar playing ground
Or, to make it more pedestrian and clear and to explain the jokes and explain why I called that verse "weirdly appropriate" and everything...
don't like the look of this town
Phoenix is a self-evidently odd place to play a game that requires vast quantities of ice. Anybody sane who wanted to own this team would want to move them. A city in the Pacific Northwest has long been rumored as a good candidate for a hockey team, if one should need to be relocated, and the song is called, ahem, "Seattle".
what goes up, must come down
I got nothing
character is lost and found
Phoenix has one iconic player: Shane Doan. He has been with the team for longer than they've been playing in Phoenix. He's generally considered a good-to-excellent player and a so-called character guy.
on an unfamiliar playing ground
Back to "anybody sane who wanted to own this team would want to move them...to unfamiliar playing ground.
—Collision, who is sorry this project is dragging on so awfully long
